With Or Without You

"I can't live
With or without you"

And that's how the famous U2 song goes. Its something like my state of mind right now, just not that extreme.
Its been over 9 months we broke up but you still have such an effect on me. I can still feel anything from love to hatred towards you.
According to the Charlotte break-up rule (Sex and the city) it takes half the time you went out with someone to get over them. So that leave me with about another year (11 months to be exact) to get over you. HOLY SHIT!
There are happy days and sad days. Happy days pass by easy. Its these recurring sad days that cause the trouble.
Its not like I don't remember you on happy days, I do, and then I move to the next thought keeping you as a happy memory at the back of my head. But the days I am sad, I need you, not want but need. And it takes a lot of effort to not just pick up the phone and give you a call or a message. I need you because you have this calming effect on me that no one else has had so far. Your voice still eases my pain. And some days I just want to run back to you.
And the fact that you can still have this effect on me scares me. Scares me if I will ever move on.